Many things get in our way of seeing in new ways. Our beliefs, however we arrive by them, our fears and the misinformation we buy into create a mighty wall around our ability to see the other side, to move from limited viewpoints to more expanded or global perspectives. Some of the following may be standing in your way of seeing in new ways:
Fear of what other people think: Fear of what others think of us stops many of us cold from trying anything outside the safety of “appropriate or normal”. The fear of looking “stupid” or different can cripple us…for certain trap us into mediocrity and keep us from operating from our authentic selves. Have you ever waited to hear someone else’s opinion to be sure yours aligns before saying anything? You don’t have to buy into what the so called “experts” say, or the bully with a louder voice, a dominant personality, the “know it all”. Be open but dig for your own original thoughts.
Being different yet fearing difference is one of the mysteries of how we operate in the world considering we have no choice but to BE different no matter how we define it. Every difference we embrace adds to who we are becoming. Even the collection of characters who dwell within each of us, diversities in our own being, are works in progress and I am often struck by the power of what they can manifest. You see the world from a unique place. It’s all so simple really. Your contribution to the world is understanding that you need to be and see defined by your own way of determining.
Functional fixedness: An oversimplification would be that functional fixedness can stand in our way of seeing the world in diverse ways. It is the real inability to see the world in new ways, the inability to see possibilities; minds trapped by limited perspectives and rigid paradigms, The inability to see possibilities outside of the obvious. More deep seated, it is, at least, something science is coming to understand.
Ego: The ego would think “If I acknowledge other views, it could invalidate mine and me and everything I ever believed to be ‘true’ about something.” One shift in perspective can shake up ones world-view. Hmmmmmm. I might have to admit that I am or have been wrong. Tell yourself the truth about this one. Tell it with compassion. So much of our little kid experience influences our response to being told we are wrong. For some it is shameful. We are told that we can “learn from our mistakes.” Might we then have become bigger risk takers if we had been praised for all those red checkmarks on our exams, all of the mistakes we made? Wow…look at all of those mistakes! Congratulations. That is where the learning is. You already know the ones you got right. Now let’s get down to the learning of the rest of it. Admitting we had messed up wouldn’t have been so crushing to our egos.
Find a way to be very OK with being wrong and admitting it. If you are wrong and you know it….you are not less wrong by not acknowledging it. Somehow saying it out loud lightens your load. One of my hard learned lessons in life.
Labeling yourself: Allowing the rules by which you determine good, bad, right or wrong become what define you and influence your way of seeing. Choosing to be stuck with the labels you attach to yourself will do just that…It will keep you stuck there: I’m mediocre, not creative, not good with numbers, socially inept, not a risk taker…etc. All of that negative self-talk can hurt your ability to change your mind and change your opinion about yourself. Your world will remain small and get smaller over time. That is one small piece of your personal paradigm you CAN change, your beliefs about yourself. You do have to do the work…ask yourself…what are my beliefs about myself? Change just one of those and you will see differently. More honestly.
Labels others give you: Too uncreative, too narrow-minded, too dumb, too slow a learner, too logical, too scattered, too spontaneous, too old, too much of a dreamer, too foreign blah blah and too blah. The word ‘too’ before any character description is a value judgement usually based on the views of a limited mind. Erase that stuff. It stops us from seeing what is real. As always, consider input and learn from it if it is valid, consider the source and consider your highest intuitive intelligence. It knows your truth.
Especially the perfectionist label: We’ve all known people who claim to be perfectionists and blame it for their discomfort in certain environments or with work they have produced or others have created. In my experience, I believe it is how they see the world first. I wonder if they see what is wrong before anything else. Do they tend to look for the imperfections rather than first seeing what is working? I am speaking generally of how we operate in the world and our relationship to it. Do we first see the perfection or the imperfections? Are we really perfectionists ( and by whose standard of measure? ) or critics?
There are likely many more than what I’ve listed here. A psych expert, I’m sure, could come up with a plethora of reasons why we remain stuck with our personal windows on the world.
Next post: What if it didn’t matter?